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The Prosecution: Beth

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I am ready to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real experiences, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?